Crime Drama and Feminist Paradox

I do not consider myself an avid watcher of television, but there are a few shows that I make a point to watch, and several others that I’ll watch if they happen to be on when I want a distraction. The Mentalist is one such program.

It was on the other night, and my parents were watching it, so I joined them. I had only seen one or two episodes before, so Jane was the only character I could identify. I watched the episode for some time before I realized that Teresa Lisbon was the senior agent. This came as a shock to me, and I immediately asked myself, “Why are you surprised by this?” There are plenty of crime dramas in which a woman is in a position of administrative authority. After a few moments of reflection, I figured it out:  Lisbon has long hair, and is, in general, feminine. In most shows, powerful women have short, masculine haircuts. Director Shepherd on NCIS is a good example of this. Her relationship with Gibbs is the only facet in which she is shown as a feminine figure. Her short hair is a symbol of her masculine authority. In Bones, Cam has long hair, but it is pulled back when she is at the Jeffersonian. She may be a woman in her personal life, but at work, she is a masculine figure.

This is an interesting aspect of our culture. For a woman to have power, she must masculinize herself. Even in the mainstream feminist movement, this is the case:  many feminists display their feminism by becoming masculine. Women who are feminine are sometimes scoffed at for being weak. This strikes me as odd. Isn’t feminism about celebrating the feminine and placing it alongside the masculine in value? So why do we take the feminine out of feminism?

I’m not saying that women should live in the kitchen and spend their lives waiting to be saved by a man. I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with women having short hair or other attributes typically associated with the male—on the contrary, I have short hair because I look ridiculous when my hair is long. I am wearing a tie as I write this, because I look good in them (actually, I look more feminine in a tie than I do in a plain t-shirt). What I am saying is that women should not be looked down upon by butch feminists for being feminine. Being masculine so that you can be considered equal to men is devaluing the feminine. Femininity has different strengths than masculinity, but that is not to say that femininity is not just as strong.

I believe that true feminism is giving women value equal to men without removing their feminine nature.

 

Single, Not Broken

As soon as I began college, it started. My friends paired off and married, two by two. There was a period of almost a year in which I attended at least one wedding a month. While I still have some unattached comrades, most of my friends have said their vows and joined the League of the Married™*. I believe that for them, that was the right decision. It fit into the life that they wanted and involved attaching themselves to someone who was good to and for them. I am happy for my married friends. But I want something different.

Twenty-one and single, however, is not something that my culture accepts. Since I was in high school, I’ve been pushed toward relationships:  relatives ask at every family gathering why I don’t have a boyfriend, and friends take on the responsibility of telling me who to date. Now, most of my friends are engrossed enough in their own romantic lives that they leave mine alone, but the stigma of singleness remains. One friend of mine frequently told me that he was afraid that I would be a crazy cat lady, and so always tried to set me up with his friends.  I’m not even seeing anyone, yet my mother wanted to buy a coffee mug for my future husband. I won’t even start the list of people who have talked about my future as a mother. I feel like Eleanor Dashwood, pitied as a spinster despite her age of nineteen. When I look at the expectations pertaining to marriage in this culture, I can’t help but wonder, “Why?”

The current couples’ culture that exists in the States devalues the individual by declaring that if someone, especially someone female, does not have a significant other, that person is somehow defective. If a person does not place the same irrational value on romantic relationships as everyone else does, they are viewed as hard-hearted. I don’t agree with that view. I believe that a single woman (or man) has just as much value as a married one. I don’t have to be married to be a good person—or an important one. Marriage isn’t my focus in life. My focus is to learn, grow, and establish myself as a writer and a member of my community.

Being single doesn’t mean that you are a bad person; it means that you are moving in a different direction.

*The League of the Married is not an actual trademark (at least to my knowledge).

A Chocophile Gives up Sugar

Four weeks ago tomorrow, I gave up sugar. Those of you who know me know that I am a sugar addict; giving it up was a very difficult thing to do. In fact, it seemed like (and many told me it was) a crazy thing to do. Why give up something you love so much?

Four weeks ago, I was listening to a CD lecture about physical fitness.While I am by no stretch a health nut, I do want to take care of my body. God has called us to be good stewards of what he has given us, and the first thing that we receive from him is a body. The speaker on the CD said that there were three things that one could give up to vastly improve one’s health. I was immediately interested. Surely I could do three things? Besides, who doesn’t love a challenge? Those three things were:  MSG, hydrogenated oils, and sugar. MSG isn’t too much of a problem in my life. While I do like Chinese food,I am otherwise good at avoiding MSG. Hydrogenated oils are more difficult. They are in everything. I decided to wait until my self-control pertaining to food was a bit stronger before attempting to cut them out of my diet. But sugar? I thought about it. I could give up sugar. I mean, sure, I like sugar. Yes, I have a monstrous sweet-tooth. Indeed, I put two or three spoonfuls of the stuff in my tea. But that doesn’t mean I can’t give it up, right?

I did some research and made myself some guidelines: I could have up to
forty grams of sugar a day. I would give myself a once-a-week cheat day
in which I could eat whatever I wanted. My cravings could wait until then.
The first day was easy. I had just made the decision, and all I had to do
follow-through. I informed my parents what I was doing (they laughed and
assumed that I was joking), and began to check the labels of everything
that I consumed. It turns out that sugar is in a lot of foods. No matter–
I could do it. The second day was more difficult. I wanted sugar! I had
to have something sweet. The solution turned out to be this:  If I were
very good throughout the day (less than 20 grams), I could have a very
small portion of ice cream in the evening (three and one half ounces of ice
cream, depending on the type, has only seventeen grams of sugar).

The hardest part was shifting from sweetened to unsweetened tea and coffee.
As I said, I like my tea on the sweet side. Two months ago, I couldn’t
drink more than one sip of unsweetened tea at a time. Now that I’ve adjusted,
however, I’m guzzling my English breakfast without sugar. I still have to
put creamer in my coffee, though (the creamer I use has five grams of sugar
but I don’t add more).When I told G about my personal challenge, he informed me that he had (unintentionally) done the same thing. Since he had moved, he simply hadn’t had anything sweet. This was something that we could do together, even as far apart as we were. After three weeks, though, G had to stop; he was losing too much weight, and needed to put sugar back into his diet. I have not had that problem, so I am continuing with my forty gram a day limit.

I’ve only lost control twice. Once was my great-uncle’s birthday party, and
I felt it necessary to eat the cake (it would have been rude not to, right?).
The other was last week. I wasn’t feeling very well, so I went to Sonic and
got some ice cream. It was worth it. Other than those two slip-ups, though,
I’ve managed to keep myself in check. Now if I could only make myself work
out as much as I should.